Shoeless

As I'm looking at the time,
I wonder where it goes
I turn on my music
And try to listen with my nose
I realize that everybody's
Staring at my toes
They're thinking things about me
Though nobody really knows...

That I went to bed too early
And woke up much too late
I had only a minute
To make myself look great
I ran and almost missed the bus
But did not have to wait

And I got to work on time
Now isn't that good news?
Even though i was so rushed
That I forgot to put on shoes!!!

A Sticky Situation

Woops!
I just swallowed a watermelon gum
Which for me would be intentional
I'd rather dispose of it below my nose
Even though it is quite unconventional

But I just now for a moment forgot
That I wanted to chew it all day
Sucked a bubble to pop, then before I could stop
I by accident gulped it away...

Now its traveling down my esophagus
What a journey this chiclet will take
It will slither and slide all through my insides
And come out in the poop I will make!

Job Benefits

I wrote this after work on Thursday after spending 8 hours looking at a computer...

Oh my word
My right eye
Just fell onto the floor!
Now my left one as well,
I can't see anymore!

This is
What happens
When you stare too long
So remember to blink
Or things could go wrong!